Weekly Bravo Cocktail Party: February 13th

I think we need to send Tiffany and the rest of the Dallas ladies for lessons on how to host fun a party with the Summer House crew. I would have been more excited to be at the roller skating party, Carl’s mom’s wedding, the surprise birthday dinner for Kyle or the fight between Luke and Hannah than at the one lame party that they managed to organize on RHOD. I have so much sympathy for Tiffany, but wow that was a terrible party! If people aren’t comfortable in your home, then it doesn’t matter how many monogrammed aprons you ordered for them. And I think people would rather be served the sad sad toaster oven food that the Summer House “chefs” managed to get together than the pizzas cooked by an actual professional chef in a $10,000 wood fire oven if you sneakily sprinkle that pizza with crickets.

On RHOSLC it was reunion time and everyone seemed excited to be there. The ladies (well, most of them) were welcomed so warmly by Bravo fans that it must have felt amazing to be at their first reunion. It was good to see Meredith being more confrontational and open about her feelings, although I wish she could see that her son is definitely not an angel. I was also so interested to rewatch the footage from the birthday party after hearing Lisa’s perspective. She said that Heather was the one who was rude to her at the party, and after watching that footage, I could definitely see that. I don’t think she’s blameless at all, but I also think that there was a lot of miscommunication and defensiveness from Heather and Whitney. I also have to say that I think it’s fine for Lisa to say she’s generally happy with herself-it seems sexist to me that we can’t accept that a successful woman could be proud of where she is in life and say that she’s a bad mom if she doesn’t take every call from her kids.

Let’s see how everyone else did at the reunion and if anyone from Dallas would make it to my party this week or if they’re all off the list until they prove they can have some fun!

Photo by Bravo. The RHOSLC reunion is here! Who’s look did you like the best? I’m going with Lisa and Mary.

Who Didn’t Make the Guest List:

Tiffany: I love Tiffany, but she is a terrible hostess! She was so nervous and that translated into too many rules for people to be able to relax. Plus, sneaking the crickets into the pizza was just rude, especially since we saw her taste them with D’Andra and say that they didn’t taste very good, so it’s not like she was trying to share an extra special delicacy that she thought they would enjoy if they tried it.

Stephanie and Travis: Look, we’ve all been there in a back and forth where everyone comes out the loser. It’s hard for me not to be in Stephanie’s court because she is so lovely, but she really seems to be botching up the roll out of the foundation and not doing the research and work that she needs to do. She gets mad when she isn’t taken seriously, but she doesn’t seem to be applying serious work standards to the project, either. Travis criticizing her doesn’t make it any better, so I’m really hoping that these two crazy locker magnates can work it out and get this project and their relationship off the ground.

Lisa’s Tan Hands: Her palms were messy and looked like they’re been attacked by self tanner, but her argument with Heather was peak housewives fun. She asked them to roll footage of who was dismissive of whom at a birthday party and then told Andy that she refused to move on from a topic until she had her say? I could talk about that and the expression that Andy made at that comment all night (he looked like he was having a ball at the reunion).

Whitney: If you’re going to bring printed out receipts of texts, you need to make sure they’re legible! Please call Monique for binder advice before the next reunion.

Coach Shah: I still don’t think he should have missed Jen’s father’s funeral. Assistant coaching is not a job where it’s impossible to miss a day of work for your father in law’s funeral. It’s just not.

Luke: I’m so relieved that he shaved off that beard mid-episode. Otherwise there was no way that I would believe that someone as amazing as Ciara would possible be into him. Also, his refusal to admit that constantly texting Hannah and flirting with her might mess with her perception of their relationship is just sheer douchery. He’s such a jerk.

Hannah: I also can’t handle the way that Hannah is around Luke and I was Paige or Amanda, I think I would have lost the ability to listen to any of it after last summer. I really hope that we don’t have a full season of Hannah/Luke drama ahead.

Photo by Bravo. The cracks in Stephanie and Travis’s marriage are definitely showing, but I’m hoping they can patch it up and get some lucky high schools some fab new locker rooms in the next few weeks.

Who Made the Guest List:

Mary: I loved her explanations of her wigs and fashion choices and her wild eyes. She was actually more engaged in the reunion than I thought she might be, and I liked that she wasn’t afraid to call people out.

Meredith: Don’t love the blazer dress, but I do love her face-so gorgeous! I wish she could be a little more aware of how obnoxious her son is-while I appreciate her maternal devotion, Brooks really is smug and rude sometimes.

Carl: He was so cute about celebrating his mom’s wedding and how much her happiness means to him. I love seeing Carl in a good place and in a pink suit with tight shorts.

Paige and Amanda: They are such good friends to Hannah. Seriously, only amazingly loyal and patient people could still be there supporting Hannah through the Luke rollercoaster. They seem to be able to see exactly what’s happening there, but they’ve learned that they can’t talk Hannah out of it and just need to let her work through it on her own.

Ciara: I laughed so hard when Ciara was talking about the extremely awkward conversation that was happening between her and Luke and Hannah and she couldn’t understand why all of the busybodies in the house were suddenly so good at minding their own business. I also loved that she was wearing glasses and baggy clothes and clearly didn’t care for that entire evening.

Kameron: That scene with the dog trainer cracked me up. When he was explaining that giving the dog a bone on the mat was like giving kids an I-Pad in church, and she nodded sagely and said that yes, they did give the kids I-Pads in church. Or when he gave a C+ for training, and she said “at least we got a letter.” What does that mean? It means that Kameron doesn’t give a - about what anyone says and she’s just going to continue doing her kooky thing. I also loved when she set the phone alarm to go off at 10:22 and signal the end of the party. It was rude but also very funny, and the ladies all got up at left when it went off! I think they were all happy to have an excuse to get out of there.