The Weekly Bravo Cocktail Party: May 1

Bravo has delivered again this week and between Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Summer House, Real Housewives of New York and Vanderpump Rules, we were given a record amount of awkward party fails to bear witness to in one week. Between Kyle’s dinner part on RHOBH, the roast on SH, and Sonja’s fashion show on RHONY, I spent half of my time cringing on the couch and covering my eyes. So let’s get right into who came out of the parties looking fresh as a daisy, and who got bogged down in the muck.

Who isn’t invited to my cocktail party?

Sonja and Luann on RHONY: I literally laughed out loud when I saw the footage of Luann backstage at the Pamela Roland fashion show, forcing one of the hairdressers to give her a blow out. It was such classic entitled countess behavior! I’d thought that Luann was doing better at being self aware this season, but this showed us that she hasn’t lost her stripes yet. Sonja’s fashion show was also so typical for her-she hires terrible people who don’t really do anything, and then is dismayed by the results and runs around yelling at people. I thought that the clothes actually looked good, but the show itself was a half-done mess and it made me sad to see that Sonja hasn’t learned from any of her past failures. What’s that saying about insanity being repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result?

Teddi on RHOBH: Guys, I know that a lot of people have never liked Teddi, but I’ve always had a soft spot for her. What can I say? There’s a part of me that has a weakness for people who are super fit, bossy, and judgmental. But this season, Teddi is the worst. She was clearly feeling insecure about whether or not the ladies would want to come to her retreat, which caused her to attempt to issue the invitation in a “chill” way, but Teddi is so not “chill" that it just came across as super rude. Then, instead of admitting that, she doubled down by convincing herself that she’s just “a straight forward person” and been more rude, more defensive, and ended up sobbing at a dinner party. She’s so wrong that she actually made Sutton look like the normal one in the situation.

Kyle and Sutton’s bangs on RHOBH: I have never seen Kyle look at bad as she looked at the welcome homer dinner party that she threw for herself. Her bangs are a disaster that need to be addressed. Honestly, her entire look at that party was hard to look at without wincing. Watching her bangs battle it out with Sutton’s bangs at their get together the next day was even worse. When will Dorit take Kyle aside and tell her that she needs fix this situation?

Whoever made the decision to push back the start of Potomac: Was it Andy? The Producers? I’m not sure but I’m mad at them because I was so excited for the new season!

Carl and Lindsay on Summer House: They are the worst roasters I’ve ever seen. Seriously, that was more awkward than the one for Michael Scott on The Office! And watching Lindsay get brutally taken down by Paige, when she considers herself to be the tough, smart one, was amazing to watch. 

Who made the guest list this week?

Mauricio on RHOBH: He has always been one of my favorite house husbands, but the stoner vibe that he’s been bringing to parties ever since Camille’s wedding is such a contrast with the tense and drama-filled attitude that the ladies are bringing, that it never fails to amuse me. His responses to Aaron’s ramblings and then taking Denise’s food really helped to defuse that awkward situation and I loved their dance party after most of the guests had left. 

Leah and Dorinda on RHONY: Leah’s reactions to the other ladies’ craziness is a great placeholder for the audience, and it’s fun to see someone with some social boundaries reacting to the other women’s antics. She also has a sense of humor about it, so she doesn’t come off as judgmental (take notes, Teddi!), like when she started out all offended by Sonja sending her cashmere pajamas, an insane fedora and sunglasses to wear to Sonja’s fashion show, but ended up laughing with Sonja when she was prancing around in them after the show and realizing that it’s impossible to stay mad at Ms. Morgan. I was also happy to see Dorinda coming around to Leah, and it was great to see them making fun of Tinsley together at lunch in a light-hearted way. Dorinda has been so dark this season, but she was brighter this episode and seems to like Leah in spite of herself. I definitely played close attention to the cracks that are showing up in her relationship with John, and that he seems to be in it for the parties, while she’s trying to draw back from all of that a bit. It’ll be interesting to see where that goes…

Hannah and Paige on Summer House: Despite being very different, they’ve had such great friendship, and I hated seeing them fighting over Luke, who is so not worth it. The fact that they were able to get together, talk it through and move past it made me very happy. 

Dorit: It was so funny seeing her yell at PK for working (or not working) in the hot tub, I thought that what she said to Sutton about Teddi was spot on, and I loved that she threw back the fireball shots, stayed late at the party and really danced it out at the end of the night.