This week we had the return of Captain Sandy and the crew, a very successful Zoom reunion, and so many housewives parties! I’m excited to add the all-female led crew of the Wellington to our weekly round-ups, and I can’t wait to see what Hannah, Malia and the rest of crew are up to this season. Was anyone else impressed with how well the Zoom reunions have been going? I thought we got a lot out of the cast on Vanderpump Rules in part 1 of the reunion this week. There were multiple full cast parties on RHOBH and RHONY this week, which made me very happy-that’s where the best drama gets stirred up. Should we see who came out on top and who fled to the bounce house with the kids this week?

Who’s Not Invited:

Aaron: Oh, how the hot have fallen this year! Aaron seemed like a hunky dream last season, and we were all excited to see his umm….assets. While he still has his looks this year, his pseudo healthy-alternative-nonsense speak in the past few episode has gotten increasingly confusing and nonsensical. It also feels a lot like he’s talking down to the ladies, and that is not something you want to get into in this group. We’ve seen plenty of husbands make that mistake in the past (see PK on his first season) and it never turns out well for the men. Let’s hope he learns to let Denise take the lead.

Kristen Doute and Max: OMG these two are the worst! Please let me know if you think they have legitimate issues that make them so dysfunctional, or if they are both just incredibly selfish assholes. The issue to me isn’t that they hooked up in the first place, if they were both technically single, but that Kristen has been friends with Dayna for the past year and never thought once to tell her that? If you’re friends with someone, and they’re questioning their relationship with a guy they’re crazy about, the only reason you won’t let them know about your experience with that guy is if you knew your hook-up was shady and wrong. Which is exactly what both Kristen and Max are, over and over again.

Teddi: She is just plain boring this season. I’m wondering now if the whole friendship fight is about Kyle protecting Teddi’s spot on the show and keeping her on when some people wanted her off. I can’t otherwise figure out how she’s keeping that diamond in her hand because she is such a snooze fest. I was super boring when I was pregnant too, so I get it, but I wasn’t on a show where my job was to create drama and excitement. Although she did get Denise and Aaron riled up, so maybe she’s trying to get back in the game?

Sonja and Ramona: Sometimes I love their schtick and sometimes it just rubs me the wrong way. Their behavior at the dinner that Tinsley had arranged, where they cased the joint for men and then decided to hang at the bar and chat some up some random younger guys, started out amusing, but quickly went off the rails when they kept refusing to come to the table. Once they did sit down, they were shrieking and being rude to other women and everyone else at the restaurant. While they seemed to think it was totally normal behavior, I was with the guy sipping the martini in the corner and staring at them in horror. Can you imagine the poor waiter trying to deal with them? Or the other people eating near them? I think it bothered me because they were so judgey about Leah’s behavior the night before, but thought that their own behavior was totally fine. Leah was a mess the night before, but it came out of her own pain, while their behavior came from feeling entitled, and that difference is everything.

Who Made the Guest List:

Captain Sandy, Malia and Hannah: I’m so excited for the female led season of Below Deck: Med. It’s one of those shows that I often start out watching but the sexism that’s rampant on the ship can be a real turn-off, and I thought Malia didn’t get a fair shake in her last season, where so often we saw her more through Adam’s crazy eyes than through her own lens, so I’m happy for her to be back and in charge this year. Captain Sandy always brings it, and I like that Hannah’s already at war with her #2 in the first ten minutes, so I’m excited to add this season to our recaps and see what happens onboard.

Charli: I liked her willingness to insult the elderly man on the show, Jax, and go head to head with all of the original cast members, although it doesn’t seem like a single one of the cast members like her. While that’s usually a warning sign that someone is terrible in real life, given how awful most of the cast members are, it actually might be something in her favor in this situation.

Pandy: I’ve missed seeing her and I loved her cameo helping out as Lisa’s stylist for the day. She’s right where Lisa likes to keep her kids-working for their mom!

The Women of Vanderpump Rules: Although they don’t often get along with each other, I much prefer to see them dominate the men like they did in this reunion then fight with each other. The men had to apologize and grovel for all of their mistakes this season, and the women were there to put them in their place.

Lisa Rinna and Dorinda: I loved that they both fled the table when things got heated this week. Normally, the two of them would be happy to wade right into the mess and stir things up, but Rinna fled for the bounce house with the kids when the conversation took a turn at Kyle’s party, and Dorinda snuck out of the restaurant and went back to the hotel for Ghost Hunters and room service when the old vs. young fight started to get loud in Newport.

The RHOBH Editors: They were masters of their craft this week. When they juxtaposed Garcelle’s criticism of Kyle never giving her the time of day, with a video showing how Garcelle has skipped every event, and the one she did come to was where she and Kyle sat on a couch together and Kyle asked her questions, it was the perfect evidence that Garcelle seems to be constructing this fight to give herself a storyline. Then we got Denise and Aaron’s dinner orders, which is the kind of little detail and craziness that I really love-I mean mashed potatoes and salad with cucumbers and parmesan but no dressing or pepper? And A1 sauce for the steak? Those specifics just kill me. When we got to Kyle’s party and saw Denise telling the other women that she doesn’t want her kids exposed to their inappropriate conversation and dropping f-bombs while Dorit’s toddler was standing two feet away from her, I wanted to applaud them for masterful work all around. 

Tinsley: Poor Tinsley in this episode. As Leah said, something about the way that Tinsley communicates just grates on the women and they dismiss her over and over again. She couldn’t get the women to sit down at the restaurant and Dorinda was so intense about her seeing Scott again. She was in the right in both situations-the ladies were embarrassing her at her friend’s restaurant and being rude to her and everyone else in the space. She also clearly wants to keep her possible reconciliation with Scott under wraps until she knows what’s going to happen, which is totally normal. I would love to see find her authority and just destroy the women one day and finally earn their respect. Can we also talk about her kissing her sister??