Wow. Before talking about the party that I would host this week, we have to go over the guest list to end all guest lists for the party that Kyle hosted on RHOBH this week.

Kyle managed to get one million former cast members plus Kathy Hilton and Kris Jenner! I don’t know how she talked all of them into that (especially Kris who seemed pained by the whole thing, but gamely complimented Kyle’s art and donated 25k), but I was impressed that she was able tp get everyone to commit to coming. Let’s do a quick breakdown of the guests to see if we still want to hang with them or not. 

Glen: I don’t know why I have such a deep affection for Kyle’s party planner, but I’m always happy to see him and his calm energy.

Faye Resnick: I’ve never been able to generate much interest in her, and tonight was the same.

Adrienne and Paul: I almost didn’t recognize Adrienne, but I was glad to see her and Paul getting along and to hear that they’re doing well.

Kim: She has really committed to that little pony in front, which definitely has Pomerian vibes, but also gives her a mini facelift, so I can’t say that it looks terrible. She’s there and has clothes on, which really impressed Kyle, so I guess we should all be proud of Kim for that!

Eileen: She looks great, even with brown hair for a Christmas move that isn’t made by Hallmark. It’s better than Kyle’s bangs for Halloween 44! I loved seeing her and Erica and Lisa in the car together and was impressed that she was able to get to the heart of the situation with Denise and Camille in less than two minutes.

Kimber: Guys, do we need to be worried about Kimber? Is Camille holding her hostage or brainwashing her? Is she being paid to be Camille’s companion? Does she have to be relocated to a secret new life just to escape? Pull on your ear twice the next time you’re on camera, Kimber, and we’ll know to send someone to get you out.

Brandi: What an intro to Brandi’s return, when the producers show a video of her crying about something that she posted to social media.-so messy! If anyone tracks that video down, send it to me, please. Do we really think that Kyle reached out to her months ago to make nice, or is this just a set-up by the producers? Brandi was openly excited to see Denise and Aaron and zipped right over when they arrived, but it was harder to read Denise’s take on Brandi. She seemed happy to see her, but Denise was so uncomfortable being around the other ladies, that it was hard to tell if that was also about Brandi too. 

Camille: Guys, why do you think Camille came back? It seems to me that she was planning on a redemptive tour to make nice with the ladies like she did with Kyle, but then when people weren’t receptive to that, she fell apart. She thinks she’s above everyone else and that comes through very quickly.

Who’s Not Invited:

Pete from Below Deck: Just eew.

Luann and Dorinda: I’m so torn on Luann and Dorinda. On the one hand, they can be so great. They’re able to let things go easily and have a laugh, and I love that the fights don’t linger. Dorinda can joke about Ramona clogging the toilet and her days as a waitress at the Red Lion, and Luann can laugh about making out with Leah while drunk and sitting between a hot man and a lamb chop at dinner. But when they’re drunk and when Dorinda is angry and Luann is taking the cabaret way too seriously, it’s so dark. I would be afraid to invite them because you just don’t know which way they’re going to go. And are we allowed to be concerned that Luann is back to openly drinking on camera or is that fine now? Also, was that the first time we’ve ever seen Lu cry-that was the most shocking part of the fight!

Leah’s Fashion Sense: I love Leah, but she is really a terrible dresser! Sometimes I give her a pass because she’s so gorgeous that she can make bad outfits look semi-okay, but on the whole, her style is tragic.

Elyse: I’m going to ban any further talk of her alter-ego. Just no.

Teddi: Is she even on this show anymore? I know she’s pregnant, but Monece and Porsha still managed to bring something to the table during their pregnancies!

Bugsy: Hannah’s not my favorite, but I didn’t like to see Bugsy openly criticizing her either. Stews should stick together!

Who Made the Guest List:

Malia: I was so glad to see her demoting Pete and giving him a talking to. Let’s hope that keeps him from harassing Bugsy and that we see a lot less of him from here on out.

Jess: I laughed when she said she would give it her all and earn her place even with her hand injury and then ten minutes later was complaining about the guests wanting her unpack their luggage with her injured hand. That’s totally how I’m feeling this summer.

Lisa Rinna: Sometimes Lisa can be two-faced, so I liked seeing her open conversation with Denise when it was just the two of them. She didn’t tell Denise what she wanted to hear, but she was clear about her perspective and where the other women stood. I thought that she tried to communicate honestly with Denise, but the two of them were so far apart that they couldn’t get back together. She also wasn’t having it with Camille and really put her on the spot, which was hilarious to watch.

Dorit and PK: Their couples confessional is back and I’m here for it! I liked that Dorit had no interest in making nice with Camille, she helped Kyle get donations for the auction and bought a package to watch the Masters (is she interested in golf and can she actually afford that??), and PK tried his best to have a man to man with Aaron. 

Sonja: I love when she’s in the car, telling the other women that she can’t forgive Luann too easily and that she isn’t going to run to her and hug her, but as soon as she’s out of the car, she does exactly that. Her good nature is irrepressible and she’s just a ray of warm sunshine.

Len: Did anyone else gasp when Ramona told the women that it was time to take a break from fighting and get ready for dinner? I honestly thought that it was about 3 am at that point because the women had been so drunk and fighting loudly for so long. I loved that Ramona then ordered a ton of Chinese food and the women put on outfits that were various levels of crazy (points for flair to Dorinda’s sequin dress). Then poor Len had to get them to stop talking to her and to actually eat the food, for which she deserves an award!