This week on Bravo, we started to see how the battle lines are being drawn and what our plots and alliances are going to look like moving forward. On Potomac, it’s going to be Candiace vs Ashley now that Monique has been sidelined, and it looks like everyone is firmly on Candiace’s side except for the Grande Dame Karen Huger, who is still trying to be Switzerland. I still don’t understand how we got here-Candiace is the worst and it makes me very concerned that the other ladies don’t see that. On Southern Charm, we’ve got Pringle vs Austen, and since Austen couldn’t win a fight with a bunny rabbit, I think we all know what’s going to happen there. On SLC we’ve got Jen vs Mary and then Whitney and Heather vs Lisa. I don’t have a good enough sense of the alliances to figure out where everyone is going to land, but from the previews it looks like Jen is going to force everyone to pick their team like a true coaches wife. The real wild card for me is the OC. Without Tamra and Vicki, and with Braunwyn’s sobriety disrupting her friendships, it’s hard to get a grasp on what’s going on in this power vacuum. It seems like the new queen bees might just be Gina and Emily, but my mind can hardly wrap itself around that crazy concept. It’s like saying Chef Boyardee just got three Michelin stars. Now let’s whose power moves would help them get an invite to my Bravo party this week and who wouldn’t make the cut.

Who’s Not Invited:

Austen: He is so cute but such a limp noodle personality-wise. I really wish we had gotten to see the footage of him yelling at John Pringle to get out of this house after drunk John hit on Madison right in front of him, because I would love to see an Austen so angry that it got Madison all excited that guys were going to fight over her.

Shannon and Kelly Dodd: They both seem adrift this season-they’re picking random fights, holding on to grudges, and being needlessly mean to Braunwyn at a very vulnerable time. I expected them to rise to the top and try to take over the OC crown, but they seem to both be self-destructing without being able to play off or fight with Vicki and Tamra.

Braunwyn and Sean’s son Jacob: Someone needs to get this kid a book on writing toasts and wedding vows for Christmas! He seems so sweet, but I have never seen a more awkward attempt at teasing your parents.

Gizelle: It’s official, I have definitely turned on Gizelle this season. She has always been one of my favorites, but I just can’t with her new loyalty to Candiace and dismissal of Karen. I was also so lamed out by the weird spider and snakes in the bed trick they pulled on Wendy, but I have to give props to Wendy for shrieking and running around and doing her best to make it seem like a good prank.

Lisa: I felt badly for Lisa when Whitney came up to her at the party and was critical about the tequila and bartenders that Lisa gifted her. No one likes to hear anything but a thank you in that kind of situation, especially when it’s on camera and related to your business. However, she could have handled it so much better or let it drop, rather than calling Whitney off camera and threatening her. She is taking herself way too seriously and defensively and that doesn’t usually go well for housewives.

Meredith: Was that dinner conversation with her husband one of the most awkward scenes you have ever seen? I don’t know if it was just editing, but it seems like Seth is trying to communicate with her and assure her that he still cares and that she’s unwilling to give him anything. I don’t think we have enough information to judge what’s going on with them yet, but she seems very remote and closed-off, which doesn’t make me very optimistic for their future.

Who Made the Guest List:

Mary: Have you ever been late to a ski day because you were waiting for a new Chanel ski suit to arrive? And then once you got dressed and out on the mountain, you decided that you didn’t even want to go down the hill, and just lay in the snow on the side of the bunny slope in your new outfit and made snow angels? Then you wore an extremely large fur hat all through dinner? I know I have a whole new approach to my next day at the mountains after watching how Mary does it.

Jen Shah: I loved seeing her team zipping around her house, frantically cleaning before her husband arrived home so he wouldn’t know how much of a scene the party had been.

Whitney: The visual of Whitney opening up the gates to their Charleston mansion and then lobbing a package of toilet paper thirty feet so that he wouldn’t have to get near to Craig was everything. Craig, of course, has no toilet paper or food and might be the person least equipped to deal with a coronavirus shutdown or social distancing. Whitney, on the other hand, looked like he and Patricia and Michael had fully stocked up and they would be happily drinking martini’s at home until it was safe to emerge.

Leva: My heart went out to Leva watching her deal with the effects of the shutdown on her businesses and I’m really hoping for the best for her team.

John Pringle: Right now, I’m into his mountain man looks and messy behavior. The pack of bros needs someone to come in shake things up a bit, and I think he and Madison could be a great pair to do just that.

Ashley: I don’t know why the other ladies are so mystified about Ashley writing a statement about Candiace’s behavior in past seasons. I mean, Candiace screamed at Ashley and tossed a butter knife at her and then hurled every insult possible at Ashley on social media! I would still be pissed about that too. I don’t think it even needs to be a question of owing something to Monique because Monique supposedly erased evidence for Michael. Monique publicly supported Ashley in that situation and Candiace has always been terrible to Ashley, which seems to be enough reason for me. The hard part for me to wrap my mind around is why the other ladies can’t see that and why they’re so ride or die for Candiace this season.