Guys, I missed Summer House this week. I went to watch something on Thursday night, and I forgot that my favorite Hampton’s friends were all done and in their place there was only, Real Realtors of New York. I don’t know-I can’t get into that show anymore. Are you guys still watching? I used to get a kick out of Ryan and Frederik but their schtick has worn thin to me lately. Tell me if I should give it another try now that they have a female lead (she looks like she might be interesting).

We did get a trip to the Hamptons this week on Real Housewives of New York, and that trip did not disappoint! I would watch Sonja and Ramona try to reset a pool heater all day. Ramona’s behavior is appalling and I’m worried about Sonja, but I’m still entertained by their shenanigans. Plus, Luann made it out of the lower level, production did not skimp on the cost of putting a good party together, and Leah got some primal screaming in.

Tiffany would have loved to get some good primal screaming going when she came up against Kameron, who still can’t let an argument go until she beats it to death on the Real Housewives of Dallas reunion. And Melissa lost her cool and left the end of the season party early on the season finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, which is the first time I can ever remember Melissa and Joe not sticking around for maximum air time. I do think that the ladies jumping on Joe was deserved for the way that he’s been speaking to Melissa and Dolores, but it also points to the distinct lack of bigger drama that was going on this season because he’s been acting like that for years and they’ve always glossed over in it in favor of more exciting issues. Should we see if Joe got an invite to my cocktail party this week?

Bravo Cocktail Party: May 14th

Who’s Not Getting An Invite:

Teresa: I feel like Teresa really sat this week out. It felt like she phoned in the end of this season because she really just wanted to get off camera and make out with her new boyfriend. Case in point: she’s a cookbook author who doesn’t know what it means to dot butter on top of the apple pie she’s making with her “darters?'“ Next example: the ladies are piling on her brother and she says nothing and then Melissa comes over and they start talking about Joe and she says nothing and then Joe comes over and they’re all fighting and she still says nothing? I don’t know if I expected her to make it worse or make it better, but I definitely thought that she should get in there. And that scene with her boyfriend was totally cute in post-production because it was cold and she was wearing a fur-ish coat. The producers must have been so annoyed that they never got him on camera that they talked her into giving them something. I get that she wanted to keep all of the quiet as a person, but as someone on a reality show, I wanted to see her engage and get into it!

Kameron: So Kameron is the kind of person who will never let a point go until it’s been beaten to death six times and the rest of the cast wants to lose their minds from revisiting the same topic. But I really wish that she could have let this beef with Tiffany go and just apologized like the rest of the ladies. Did she have some points about Tiffany being bossy or critical? Yes, some of that was true. But overall, the way that Tiffany was treated during the season by everyone except D’Andra was not right and Kam should have let her little points go in favor acknowledging the bigger picture and making things right with Tiffany.

Joe: I think that Joe is genuinely feeling hurt and left behind by Melissa and like she cares more about being famous and fabulous. The problem is that it’s because he’s so used to her stroking his ego and catering to him that anything less than that feels like neglect. I hope that they can find a new equilibrium and that he can adjust his expectations, otherwise their final scene at the Halloween party feels very grim-she seemed exhausted and over the whole thing. I really want their marriage to make it and for them to work out a new equilibrium and I think that he’s the one that needs to adjust and let Melissa do her thing.

Sonja: I’m really worried about Sonja. Moving back to the townhouse and losing that deal with Century 21 has put her back so far into a very stressful financial position and that tends to short-circuit her brain. I only want the best for her and I can’t understand why she hasn’t sold the townhouse yet.

Who Made the Guest List:

The Aydins: Guys, I think Dr Bill had an amazing season and seems like such a cute husband. He was so calm and helpful during the fights with Jennifer’s parents in earlier episode and really laid down some relationship common sense advice. He’s always supportive of his wife, gave her an enormous ring for their anniversary, and then tried to talk some sense into Joe Gorga at the Halloween party (which was not well received, but that isn’t his fault). And I loved that Jennifer was a drunk mess spilling pigs in a blanket-let this mother of one million children get out and have some fun during the pandemic-we all need to blow off some steam!

Margaret: She finally got her house done and it looks insane, but I love it. Her relationship with her husband is also #goals and I love that she and Dolores have really bonded this season and are standing up to men any chance they get.

Dolores: When she was explaining the dynamics of her marriage to Frank when they were young, I really got why she was happy now to have David as a low key boyfriend and Frank as a friend and to her own woman.

Tiffany: When she got a nosebleed trying to sum up her season, I think that about said it all. The ladies gave her a really hard time this season, and the mix of first season bullying and cultural clashes and discrimination was so much for anyone to handle. I think she did a great job of it and that all of her craziness and flaws make her a great housewife and I hope that if Dallas comes back, she’s at the center of the line up.

Michelle: That woman must have the patience of a saint to work for Ramona and put up with being called the wrong name all weekend. I hope that she was very well paid and feel vindicated watching this episode.

Burning Man: Hampton’s Style: I loved this whole party and I have to give them kudos for pulling off a very wild idea (a burning man themed party at Ramona’s house in the Hampton’s with a bunch of older Upper East side ladies??) and making it really fun and entertaining. It was solid work from everyone.

Ramona’s Pool Heater: Dear Pool Heater, Thank you so much for malfunctioning and providing us with that scene of comedic gold. Also, thank you for allowing Ramona and Sonja to hit you repeatedly and still crank out the heat so that we could later see steam blowing off the pool and ladies riding around on pink pool floats in crazy Burning Man outfits. You are welcome to come heat my pool anytime. Love, Eloise

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