Two weeks ago, I was stuck at home, sick and very bored and tired of being housebound, when a package arrived. I saw Dinah’s name on it and was immediately hoping that she had sent me a present and that it wasn’t just a misrouted package that she had ordered for herself. Tearing into the brown paper, I was so thrilled to pull out Not All Diamonds and Rose: The Inside Story of The Real Housewives from the People who Lived It by Dave Quinn. I climbed back into bed that afternoon with the book and felt like all was right with the world.

Our love for the housewives runs deep (see the post I did about book by housewives here), so I couldn’t wait to see how the Bravo-approved book about the ladies turned out. Would it actually share anything juicy? Who would participate? Would they provide the scoop on the storylines that I was most interested in? The answer was yes to all of those-they interviewed Andy, of course, producers, housewives, and pretty much everyone came to tell it like it was. Dinah and I both loved it so much that we thought it would be fun to do a joint review, conversation style! -Eloise

Book Discussion:

Dinah: To start us off, I was so interested to see who participated and who didn’t. In the author’s note at the end, they list who choose not to do an interview, and some of them are understandable-like husbands who don’t normally do confessionals. But to see that people like Bethenny, Nene, Porsha, or Kim Zolciak didn’t take part in it, well, it seems like it says something.

Eloise: I think that shows who’s on the outs with Bravo. I mean, I can see that Nene might not want to be a part of it after the way she exited Atlanta and how she called out the Bravo execs after that. But for someone like Porsha who just got her own spin-off, that surprises me.

Dinah: Or Gretchen and Slade? They seemed to be so into being on the show and wanting all the PR.

Eloise: SO true! I was not at all surprised that Vicki still gave an interview for the same reason.

Dinah: They also list who got interviewed and didn’t make the cut, like a Cedric and Dana Wilke, which surprised me. You would think they would have good behind the scenes info to share.

Who do you think came off well?

Eloise: Hmm. I’m not sure that Tamra came off well, but I thought that the producers and execs gave her a lot of credit for really shaping the franchise. Before she came on as a housewife, the ladies just sort of co-existed, and she was the one who introduced the idea of conflict between the ladies and talking about each other in their confessionals. I’m not sure that says great things about her, but it cements her place in the history of the show in a major way. And I loved the producers’ takes on Camille and how hard the first season was for her and I thought they did a good job of really humanizing her.

Dinah: They explained Camille’s actions in a way that made sense. The way that she behaved on camera was so out there, but once you read about the background behind it, you could see more of where she was coming from.

Eloise: Oh, and the part about why she talked about the fact that Russell was abusing Taylor on the show and what they other ladies knew and why it came out that day was so interesting. I mean the whole situation with Russell and Taylor was so awful, but it was also very interesting to learn more about what was going on behind the scenes there.

Dinah: On Beverly Hills, the women have a very specific code about what’s discussed on camera and what isn’t, and the show’s most explosive moments are when those codes are violated and what the intention was behind that. So in the case of Camille and Taylor, it really was a mix-up and they were able to move past it, but for a situation like Lisa Vanderpump pushing Brandi to share the rumors about Adrienne using a surrogate, Adrienne was never able to move past that betrayal and it ultimately ruined the show for her.

Eloise: Who do you think came off badly?

Dinah: New York really seemed like co-workers rather than friends, especially Bethenny. There was very little love lost between most of the former castmates and even the current cast.

Eloise: Yes, and the fact that she set up that whole photo situation of Tom kissing that girl at the Regency and then made sure she had Skinnygirl product placement in her conversation with Luann!

Dinah: Ugh, yes! And in Dallas, I thought Brandi came off really poorly and just seemed crude and like a mean girl. She made a mistake not being interviewed.

Eloise: On New Jersey, Teresa really went in on Melissa and Joe and how they got on the show and she totally dropped the fake unity pact that they’ve had for the past few seasons. Teresa was open about how much she doesn’t like Melissa-it was wild! And on Beverly Hills, I thought Denise came off badly. I wish she had presented her side of the story.

Dinah: Agree. Brandi Glanville’s side of the story seemed very credible in her interviews. Especially when Andy said that they went back and looked through the tapes to see if they could find any history of lying and they couldn’t. In terms of Melissa and Teresa, Teresa was still doubling down on Melissa being a stripper!

Eloise: Was there anything that you wished was more talked about?

DInah: On Potomac, they talked about Michael Darby grabbing butts, but none of the cheating rumors, but that’s a sensitive topic, so I can kind of see why they did that.

Eloise: I would have liked to know more about what was going on behind the scenes with Kim Richards, like on that weird cast trip to Hawaii, but I’m guessing that it was too tricky to get into her addiction issues, so I get that. I did enjoy the backstory of the game night fight when she took Brandi’s crutches.

Where there parts that surprised you or that you really enjoyed?

Dinah: How about the fight that the cast of New Jersey got into in the Domincan Republic and that they ended up stuck in the jail there! And also the amount of space that Kim D and Kim G and Kathy and Rosie got in the book - they were very heavily featured in the New Jersey section.

Eloise: On Potomac, I thought the part about the relationship between Ashley and Candiace was so interesting. It made me feel like they rubbed each other the wrong way initially, but then they made the decision to take that up a notch and to be nemesis for the show.

Dinah: Kind of like a baby Karen and Gizelle rivalry.

Eloise: Exactly. But the things that Candiace says to Ashley still horrify me.

Dinah: She is so awful to her-it’s not right. I did love what the producer said about Ashley though, that’s she just doing this for fun so she has no stake in the game and doesn’t really care how she comes off or what people say about her. It’s the reason she isn’t afraid to stir the pot all the time.

Eloise: And she’s able to let these awful things that the women say about her husband and her body and marriage just roll right off her back. Nothing gets her riled up. That shocks me sometimes, but I also love Ashley.

Dinah; Whereas everything gets Candiace going. I thought the part where she’s so upset about Andy not calling her after the fight with Monique was very interesting. And then of course, his take on the situation was totally different. Or this is a tiny detail, but I loved that the Beverly Hills Housewives were still talking about that time that Dorit was late to meet Teddi and they included a photo of the call sheet for Dorit and Teddi to prove that they were both told the same time.

Eloise: Classic Beverly Hills microdrama! Any final thoughts?

Dinah: To me, it was clear from reading this book that the root of 80% of the fights is that one housewife feels that someone else isn’t being as honest or giving as much as they are, and they get mad about that and call them out on it. Or maybe they can’t call them out on it directly without breaking the fourth wall, so it comes out in roundabout ways. But almost all the drama has that conflict at the heart of it.

Eloise: Dinah, you are Real Housewives genius and I salute you. We can’t recommend this book enough to anyone who is Bravo fan!